...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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