do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
