Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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