does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
