seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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