he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
