I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it because I queefed?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
