what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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