is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Randomize
