Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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