Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
