did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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