I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
