WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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