Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
