Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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