If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
