I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
