i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
