so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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