okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
