They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
