one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
