i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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