She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
