Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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