oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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