so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
