I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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