love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
