i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
