found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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