Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
