well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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