everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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