I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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