I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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