I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
