Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
