I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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