Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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