Yo dont text me then not text me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
