How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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