Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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