Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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