Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
