dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
