I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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