moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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