what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
