is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
