this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
