Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
