I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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