you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
